Jesus Juice • A “Wholly” Amazing Drink

Written by The Kitchen Hand on . Posted in drink

When you hear the name of a beverage called Jesus juice drink, you might think it gives you the ability to turn water into wine or maybe walk on water. Well, that won’t happen, but if you drink too many of these you will feel like you’re flying.

No matter how you spin it, the Jesus juice is something you should know about-after all you might just really enjoy it and it will become your new favorite!

There are two variants of Jesus juice style drinks that we know of, and in this article, we are going to touch on both of them, plus offer you some other ways to make this drink great. The best part is that you serve it in a gallon-size jug, so you can make enough to go around at the next party and really liven things up! Stick with us and we will show you how.

What Is Jesus Juice?

Basically, this is a really potent and really powerful drink that will have you going “Whoa!” when you drink it. One source said was created by some people serving in the military, presumably to liven things up when there was downtime. Keep in mind that this particular drink is really, really strong-so don’t go jumping right into this if you’re a lightweight or haven’t eaten all day!

It blends together several different liquors, and the flavor is out of sight and crazy delicious. It’s one of those “dangerous” drinks as we like to say-that is, it’s easy to forget there’s a ton of liquor, sit around drinking five or so of these things, and then wonder why you’re on the floor when you stand up.

The taste is like no other. You get the distinct and fiery flavors of the spiced rum, and the sweet tastes of the lemonade and the orange juice along with the tart lemonade and sweet orange juice flavors. The mixers provide you a zip while the liquor brings the great taste. And top it off with some tasty fresh fruit garnishes and you have yourself a recipe for a good time and a tasty cocktail.

The best part is that you can really add whatever garnishes you like to make this thing great, and we will provide some ideas a little later on.  And since this is to be made in a gallon jug, you can make many containers of this and bring it out at the party-everybody can pour up their own glass and you don’t have to miss out on the party constantly mixing up drinks for the gang. It’s a win-win situation!

So, the short answer: Afghan Jesus juice is a tasty drink made with lots of liquor that’s not for the faint of heart!

Jesus Juice Recipe

The method by which you make Jesus Juice is pretty darn simple. The biggest thing is making sure you have a good size gallon jug of some sort around. Here at the test kitchen we have some nice carafes, but you can always use a standard plastic pitcher that you see at family BBQs or even a plastic gallon juice jug or bottle if you’re really having trouble! There’s no shame in that.

So, after you’ve secured your vessel which can hold at least one gallon, or 3.78L for our metric friends, it’s time to get the ingredients together, and we’ve got them right here. We listed exactly what we used – by all means, use whatever your favorite brands are.

  • 3 oz or 90 ML vodka-we used Stoli
  • 2 oz or 60 ML Raspberry Vodka-we used Burnett’s-it was what we had on hand!
  • 5 oz or 150 ML Spiced Rum-We used good old Captain Morgan
  • 10 oz or 300 ML lemonade-We like Simply brand for this
  • 15 oz or 450 ML orange juice-we like Florida’s Natural for this.

Here’s How You Do It:

  1. Pour the vodka, raspberry vodka, and the spiced rum into your container of choice. Those of you using the gallon plastic jug, consider using a funnel to make sure you don’t make spills or other messes.
  2. Add in your lemonade, orange juice of choice, and then your fruits (if you so wish.) It is recommended to use orange slices or raspberries as a garnish.
  3. Shake it up, put it in the fridge and let it get nice and cold, and bring it out at the party. Or, pour it over the rocks.

No matter how you drink it, just make sure you take it nice and slow-this is one of those “dangerous” ones. You can make up a few jugs of this and place them in ice-filled coolers too, that way you will have some good, cold drink to enjoy at the party.

Need Any Special Equipment to Make Jesus Juice?

Not really! It’s just critical that you get together the common stuff you probably already have around your household first before you go and start mixing things up. It is, after all, just easier that way.

Make sure you have a liquid measuring cup or cups, a gallon jug of some sort or a nice carafe like the ones we have at the test kitchen, and all your liquors and mixers ready to go. This will make it a lot easier. And if you’re using an orange juice container, it’s best to use a funnel so that spill stay minimized.

As far as glassware goes, this is one of those party drinks that nobody thinks is all too terribly fancy. Therefore, it’s not critical that you use a Collins glass, tumbler or even a fancy piece of stemware. Heck get some of those classic red party cups for all we care.

If you really want to get fancy, you can put little umbrellas in the cups.

As far as training goes for this particular drink, none of that is necessary either. Just make sure you can make the correct measurements of the ingredients; otherwise you’re going to have some people complaining the drink is far too strong for their liking. Then again, if your crowd loves that sort of thing, go for it.

Some Variations of the Afghan Jesus Juice

First and foremost, there are many ways you can make this drink your own. We tried it out with some different flavors of vodkas just to see what would happen. We also mixed it up with some pink lemonade instead of the regular lemonade just to see what would happen. There are really a million ways you can make modifications to this drink. We will list all the ways in which we mixed it up!

Our First Variant: The Pink Lemonade & Strawberry Lemonade Version

So, for this jesus juice punch, we just did what you would normally do, except we substituted the Raspberry vodka for the Svedka Strawberry Lemonade flavored variety. We also substituted the regular Simply Lemonade for the company’s Pink Lemonade flavor.

The result was a nice sweet variation of the drink. It did not taste bad by any means. However, I personally felt that the drink came out way too sweet in this regard. Orange juice contains a lot of natural sugar, and the pink lemonade does contain a fair amount itself.

Combine that with the flavorings included in the strawberry lemonade vodka, and you have a flavor explosion of what feels like pure sugar. If you’re around a gang that has a huge sweet tooth, they may very well love this thing! You can also add in some nice fresh strawberries or even some lemons to this as a nice garnish.

Here’s the recipe in case you would like to try it!

  • 3 oz or 90 ML vodka
  • 2 oz or 60 ML Strawberry Lemonade Vodka-we used Svedka Strawberry Lemonade
  • 5 oz or 150 ML Spiced Rum
  • 10 oz or 300 ML pink lemonade-We used Simply again
  • 15 oz or 450 ML orange juice

Our Second Variant: The Coconut Rum & Pineapple Juice Variant

I think this is a nice way to shake up this drink if you’re in the right setting. You know what I mean-suppose you’re with your friends at a beach house, or you just want to have a beach themed party in the backyard by the pool.

The flavor is, again, really sweet. It’s just the same as before, but instead we made it with pineapple vodka. We had some Svedka Mango Pineapple and so we just used that in this version. We also used our local grocery-store brand of pineapple juice instead of the lemonade, and coconut rum in place of the spiced rum.

Here’s the recipe:

  • 3 oz or 90 ML vodka
  • 2 oz or 60 ML Strawberry Lemonade Vodka-we used Svedka Mango Pineapple
  • 5 oz or 150 ML Coconut Rum-We used Parrot Bay
  • 10 oz or 300 ML Pineapple juice -We used our local grocery store brand
  • 15 oz or 450 ML orange juice

It tasted pretty darn good if you ask me. The orange juice and the pineapple juice go so well together, and the fruit flavors that blast out of this thing were overly sweet. But it was a fine mixture and tasted great. You can imagine drinking this on a hot day or by a beach someplace, out of a huge cooler while all your friends hang around and talk. And let me tell you, if there was ever a drink that was worthy of an umbrella, this is it!

What About a Jesus Juice Shot?

We combed around on the Internet looking for a Jesus juice shot recipe but came up a little short. So, we decided to play around and craft our own out of the liquors. After testing it out a bit, we ended up with these measurements:

  • 5 oz Vodka
  • 5 oz Raspberry Vodka
  • 5 oz of Spiced Rum
  • Splash of Orange Juice
  • Splash of Lemonade

Pour all the ingredients into your mixer over ice and shake it up nice and good. Then distribute it into shot glasses evenly. Toast with your friends to good times and then…Bottoms up!

We had a lot of fun making variants of these drinks, and we think they turned out pretty well. That being said, we found it best just to stick with the original recipe. Sure, it tasted fine with our variants, but the recipe is always best when you do it the way it was meant to be enjoyed.

Ever Heard of a Flaming Jesus?

Okay, here is a warning for you: this recipe involves fire. We do not advise you to try this at home, but to leave this up to an experienced bartender. However, it’s still a pretty fun shot and we’ve had the pleasure of seeing it be made. In the event you’d like to try one, we highly recommend it, as it tastes great! Here is the recipe so you know what goes into it. This is a shot, by the way.

You will need:

  • 1 oz Rum of choice (Bacardi 151 is recommended)
  • ½ oz peppermint schnapps
  • ½ oz Southern Comfort
  • ½ oz tequila of choice

Layer all the ingredients, leaving the rum on top. Most bartenders will use Bacardi 151. Then light it on fire and burn for 5 seconds. Blow it out and drink it up!

(Again, we don’t recommend that you try this at home)

Need Another Party Size Drink?

Try a Purple Jesus. This one is pretty darn wild and will probably have all your guests feeling like they can walk on water…or at least dance like they never danced before.

You could even leave out the Everclear and the Vodka and just serve the grape juice/ginger ale mixture to kids, so they don’t feel left out. (If your family BBQs are anything like mine, the kids ask for what grown-ups are drinking…and then you have to try and explain to them it’s for adults only).

Here’s how you do it!

First, get yourself a nice big punchbowl. Then, mix in the following:

  • 1 Part Vodka of choice (we used Stoli again)
  • 1 Part Grain Alcohol (we used Everclear)
  • 1-part Grape Juice (We just used what our grocery store had)
  • 1 Part Ginger Ale (We used Canada Dry).

Mix it all together into a punch bowl. To avoid watering down the punch, place the bowl into an ice bucket like a cooler or even a tub that you put on the table filled with ice. Once again, you can bring out the red party cups for this stuff. Just make sure everybody takes it easy on this.

Do I Have to Use Specific Fruit Juices?

Not exactly. As you can see in our recipes above, we definitely went a little crazy and used different fruit juices and lemonades. That being said it is important that you put them into the liquor, otherwise it’s going to be straight alcohol and that will really not be good for most people.

It will just be far too strong.

If you don’t care for fruit juices, you could always try out some of your favorite soda pops. For instance, we do know there exists pineapple soda in some parts of the world. You could also use orange soda.

Personally, I think the use of soda pop in the afghan Jesus juice would really alter the flavor and almost render it undrinkable. However, the choice is completely up to you. You can definitely mix and match your own favorite fruit juices and experiment with the flavors if you don’t care for orange juice or lemonades. I presume cranberry juice would be good in the mix, as it always goes good with vodka.

What Are Some Garnish Ideas?

Jesus juice punch tastes great on its own, but the original recipe calls for the use of raspberries and orange slices. I think it depends on what it is you’re serving with your particular cocktail. If you choose to make one of our variants, consider using pineapple or even a piece of dried coconut as a garnish.

You don’t need a garnish to make a drink great-the Purple Jesus punch, for example, does not need any fruit. However, you can always go with the failsafe of every drink everywhere-a maraschino cherry.

Who doesn’t love getting one of those in their drink?

But think of this, too-nobody orders a drink because they’re looking for fruit. They just want a great mixed drink. So, while it’s fine for presentation, don’t sweat it if you don’t have it lying around.

Can I Go to The Bar and Order Afghan Jesus Drink?

We don’t advise it. This is definitely one of those party drinks that you’re more likely to see at a college gathering or a family bonfire than anything else. You can, however, order a Flaming Jesus. If you want to drink the Afghan Jesus Drink, get your friends together and whip up a batch.

Conclusion

Don’t be afraid to branch out and try a Jesus Juice drink today. It will taste great and remember to take it easy-it’s really sweet and good. Indeed, Jesus Juice will be a surefire hit at your next party.

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The Kitchen Hand

The Kitchen Hand

Your Personal In-House 'HOW TO' Gastro Master. From Slicing up A Pig for Christmas or Selecting Your Organic Ingredients for that Super Vegan Juice, The kitchen Hand Knows More Than You Might Think .
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